I’m hanging from the edge.

Nothing stands between me

and falling but my own waning strength.

What if I fall? What if I seriously hurt myself?

I tried to face my past demons,

but all I’ve done is create more.

I’ve only ever felt this scared once before.

How long have I been hanging here?

Maybe forever.

My mind narrows to a single thought:

Don’t let go.

Don’t let go.

Don’t let go.



I can’t hold on much longer.

Finally, rescue.

I act okay.

I’m not okay.

Arms aching, hands shaking.

Later: joking about it

Playing it off.

Laughter from others at the ridiculous situation.

I guess if you’ve never been stuck,

At any moment about to fall to

Pain,

And to hurt,

And to humiliation,

You wouldn’t understand.

But I don’t just remember the fear.

I remember something else:

I didn’t fall.

I held onto that ledge.

I didn’t give up.

Somewhere in me,

I found the strength to not

give up.

To never give in.

And I’ll always have that memory.

When I was one slip

away from falling,

I

did

 not

 give

 in.