words bubbling on my tongue are not metaphors,

They are a message, a warning of future plights to come.

I should thank this body for that, thank

you. piece of flesh you

distracted woman you

girl, mere girl, who cares more about making a living than making happiness

you

who’s future has begun, yet to become a winding twisting turn of events which can be made a biography out of, you

should be grateful to this body

shouldn’t you. shouldn’t

you weep at the thought of compliance, at

coercion and the past term vocabulary verb coerced, the way it encapsulated 

your very being in the moment. your introduction gave way to the need to hide darkness in a pure

white room. thank

you for this defense mechanism, this

shielding of the eyes for the past decade, making me feel like the need to hide blackness as a default understanding, part

of how the world works. part of the way the world spins on its axis.

it is simply a fact, a term,

like I said, the verb

coerced. remember that. remember

me in the back of a classroom as I sat, the only black girl in the room. remember those advanced math classes that you didn’t want to take (that your parents didn’t want you to take), but you knew you had to take because

remember the way that the winding twisting turning makes me care more about making a living than 

making happiness. remember 

that software development pays $112,000 per year. maybe

that’s enough to get me out poverty. maybe that’s just enough to make me (lol sarcastic ) happy (but that’s not the priority). maybe even though it’s just 12% versus the winding 88% of males in the field, maybe I’ll be 

the one out of the many that will grow. even though happiness is not a default.

even though writing is a default way for me to vent. this passion 

out 

this passion for 

(in)justice 

seeking for its 

attention 

to be seen in the eyes of the media even though it will never be *seen 

remember

defense mechanism 

r e member

new ways of life

r em ember

living

remember

making happiness 

you. should. be. grateful.

 weep. 

coercion. 

very (buried).

 moment. 

white. 

room. 

thank.