she could’ve found

anyone, I know, the boys

who promised her better in the

beginning would be

baffled if they

knew because she

didn’t choose

anyone (she chose me)

she settles for peter pan

and Maryjane on his shoulder

and I am left here to wonder

if we will ever be

Together with a capital

T, if lowercase kisses will ever be

autocorrected to kisses with capital K’s and if pinky promises will stay on our pinkies instead of the other four fingers I hold and if she will ever be mine instead of

ours.

I spend hours thinking about us, things like shower water pounding the back of my neck, the warmth brings a smile but I’m still cold when I get out,

Fragonard should’ve painted me looking up her skirt as he pushes her away,

Memories pull her back like gravity but the mistakes he made push her out again and if only I could get a

grip and pull her down to

earth I swear she'd be

better off in my

arms.

I promise you a danger that’s

Sweet whiskey, sensual and secondhand, locked doors and bedroom eyes and one spoon for a gallon of ice cream; I promise you magic and butterflies and staying up until four-thirty to listen to each other talk, I promise you love like religion and he’s the catholic church you can’t stop praying to, babygirl I promise you sea tides and skinny-dipping and understanding above all else.

You take him like your first drag and it burns so good, you said it could’ve been anyone but you just needed to kiss someone, you said you don’t know why you’re still with him and you’re lying,

falling out of love with him was falling off the moon and back and you’re burning up in my atmosphere, but

he stopped being your late-night call

and now it’s me

he stopped being your god

and now you’re lost but

at least I am too, because he

stopped being everything and

everything is starting to be me.

Where are we in the ouroboros of your

sexuality, because sometimes you say you

aren’t cheating and I

can’t tell if you

mean it or

not.