a halmoni's recipe

one with withered paper

scribbled calligraphy

rustic annotations

a dilapidated polaroid

i see as an ember of burning reels of film

boyish and coyish boy

flitters like an amorphous shadow

that is half as dark

because the light that shines

is only half as radiant

he is a stranger and myself

often one in the same

yet he is blind of what lies ahead

of what is right in front of him

dreams of a la la land

the viscous dough congeals to my hands

the roux over the hotplate never seems to set

there’s no difference out from in;

i sense and am

the dough that sticks

the effervescent roux that never thickens

limbo: the nothingness between life and void

my palms press into the grains of the rolling pin

the tiredness of my bones

seeps into the tissue of my marrow

ripe empty vessels for sorrow

is this my reparation for a lost heritage?

tears of a muted spirit

fall through the cutting board

like a wisp of ethereal moonlight

yet the boy tells me

i cry because I’m chopping scallions.

Note:파팬케이크 is Korean for “scallion pancakes”