I smiled when she said
That I was the only person she really talked to
In the only class we shared.
I would ask her
How her week had been
Since we both knew
The quality of our week
Far outweighed our day.
Only, I don’t think she ever realized
Why I always chose to ask that.
I smiled every time she told me
She would get my whiteboard along with hers
As if it was the purest form of chivalry a knight could perform.
I stared at my laptop as she took the red marker
And drew smiley faces.
When she noticed, all she said was
“Don’t worry, it comes off”
As if she believed that was why I was staring.
As if nothing in my chest twisted
When she started erasing them.
As if there weren’t words
Being swallowed that very moment.
She thought I only worried about her ruining something of mine.
But she doesn’t know
That she can mark anything of mine
With those smiley faces of hers.
Create sleeves up my arms,
To the tips of my fingers.
I just wish what I truly wanted gone
Would peel off like a second skin I could just start picking at and shed,
leaving behind an old image.
Nothing can prepare you
To fall for people
Like gravity on Jupiter.
And the problem seems harder than
Derivatives and integrals,
Or case studies and lab write-ups.
I might not have the solution yet,
But I’ll keep smiling
And some day I will.