oh my gosh what song is this

oh my god is it that song

that song i first heard

god it must have been the summer before middle school

listen to those horns

it must have been npr’s all songs considered

i always forget about this song finding it again is such a pleasant surprise

gosh that was years ago

i’m a sophomore in high school

junior

junior in high school now

god i’m nostalgic

can you be nostalgic at my age

you must be this old to ride the rollercoaster of sentimentality

back in my day amusement park tickets were five cents

back in my day you could ride as many times as you wanted

ha

i remember staying up until midnight

syrupy sounds oozing from headphones

2007 ipod classic

nose inches away from prickly white ceiling

i scribbled my name on that ceiling

magda werkmeister’s bedroom

red ink

i thought someone would care one day

another little girl maybe

wow that’s amazing this was magda werkmeister’s bedroom

i didn’t think about how bedroom ceilings can be painted over

or how most people fade away unnoticed

i didn’t understand this song then

i liked it a lot though

i think i understand now

i think

i understand

the desperation in his voice

the insecurity

the almost manic energy

god i’m halfway through high school

what do i have to show for it

what am i doing

god i want this song to wrap me up in its arms and take me away

back to that warm red mouth of a room

when i knew who i was

and who i would be

so many hopes

so many regrets

isn’t it funny how even at 15 you can feel both 10 and 50