to you, the only love i’ll never know

By: Rachel Xu

I.

The mountain sings sweet requiem

to the woman wrapped in delicate white linen

marinated in red from scattered streaks of fading sunlight

as airy white daubs wane & float by overhead

sitting below a jagged

wreath of evergreens

nailed to the crucifix above

she awaits her lover, who is

fading into dappled undergrowth leagues away

watching the last pillars standing molder against

tartan-fettered smoke & mirrors, a world where

familiar specters await in distant eden

cruelty folds into delicate little spirals

& pools around her bruised ankles

reflecting a stained glass of whispered covenants

of golden maybes and coquelicot see-you-laters

of wilted forget-me-nots in ironedboutonnières

of stale manna rotting under mephitic trenches

cherubim whispering lavender-coated deceptions

she sinks into inky waters, porous bubbly guilt

swallows every sweet delight, every marred skeleton

until

a burst of kaleidoscopic brilliance

screams into the crumbling abyss

& the woman in delicate red linen

awakens from an endless night, the arms of her lover

clutching her tighter than any brittle-boned regret

I’m home it tells her I’m home at last

their eyes meet/Aegean blue swallowed by Nephrite green

& the mountain retires its hymnals for another season

II.

freedom is the girl in ragged gossamer

with her mud-caked palms outstretched above writhing corpses

blind in ephemeral dawn/sight in Cimmerian twilight

you’ve always been watching her

tracing every taut movement/with anguished scrutiny

screaming insoluble curses at the midnight sun

so when the rusted birdcage springs wide open

your Valhalla tantalizing, yet untouchable forevermore

sunlight meets charred skin like

untempered circuitry unraveling

into brilliant empyrean, into the boundless faraway

you once promised we would see together

it consumes every wretched ache mantled under hollow bones

every want you were wont to neglect/to evade

we wonder, oh yes like the grotesque heretics we are

we can’t help but wonder/yearn for/hope

some sequestered rendezvous in Zurich’s idyllic sierras

peace of mind and of soul at long, arduous last

but

this is the road less traveled

the one we’ve chosen to walk

‘til both our bitter ends

blood-stained linen,

once comfort now asphyxiating

as crumpled droplets rain down the length of my battle scars

onto your half-lidded gaze/your head in my hands

our first foredoomed encounter

and final fated farewell

let’s meet again in another life,

my love.