In the mirror, I gaze, a face that is not my own,
A visage of a monster, chilling to the bone.
What defines a monster, but our own perception anyway?
If they were the epitome of beauty, we’d see them in that way.

I was too tired to cook last night. I felt like falling asleep.
I drank coffee for lunch because homework couldn’t stop piling up.
My mind forgets the battles won, the dragons slayed.
All the blood, sweat and tears I had to push through to get to this point.

and so the ideal takes form
shaped by what we think,
by the way we allow ourselves to think

Mother and Daughter: A Collection of Phrases

I hate you.

I’m so sorry, Mommy.

…

I love you.

Stop jumping all over me, baby! You’re like sticky rice.

something breaks in the frozen night 
    tearing / you sit up and i stay

right here in these warm sheets
    you say i am pretty only because the word beautiful

first; to detect a charlatan, check pulse.

             is it too fast? then it’s a fake.

                          body too fat? a fake.

The first time someone called me fat was in the 1st grade.

I have always been chubby, and I knew it.

Moreover, people around me never let me forget it.

The hollow shadow of my figure beckoned my insecurities.

I rub ice cubes on my face in the morning

when it is swollen from soy sauce

or bad dreams or no sleep. The water beneath

my skin is thick like jelly, yellow & responsive

to touch. I lose track of the bones. I want the

*

“I am going on a diet,” she announced.

“But McKenzie, you're only six! Besides, you’re beautiful!” I shot back.

“But,” she insisted, “I need to lose weight.

“No, you do not. I’m your nanny, I know these things. Now eat your lunch.”