The parking lot felt stagnant as Jude walked across empty yellow lines. The air was weighted with the cold, heavy enough that it almost seemed like the cloud of her breath dispersed down rather than up. The lights flickered above her head with a steady, fly-like buzz.

I feel that if I move from this spot I will die. But I take a step forward and don’t.

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

He carries his equipment

He carries his uniform

He carries his ammunition

And his weapons

But he carries much more

He carries his heart

His memories

Though most importantly

I look at your face,

the flowers in the vase,

I never wanted to be in this place,

As I pace the floor,

Searching for the door,

I realize I miss you more,

So I kneel at the cross,

And pray for my loss,

I was blind and you opened my eyes.

I was blind to deceivers, and you showed

me them. I was blind to true love, and you showed

me it. I was blind to forgiveness and you did it for me.

I was blind to the truth, and you revealed it all. I was blind

Get behind the eight ball she said, which I had yet to understand. She said

it meant to look ahead to the future. I sat

there contemplating this saying for a while, and as I fell into

a deep slumber my thoughts ran free. Thinking of our future--

 I killed a tree writing notes last night,

 but the question ravaging my mind

 does not relate to the fine points of progressivism.

 Even I, as little as I live, am too distracted to get this right.

My head hits the pillow

It sinks in

I turn to the left

Then the right

Then back to facing the

ceiling

I close my eyes

Bad things creep around in

my mind

They pop open

I stare at that chair

Here Is The Son

that shines through

the

cold

dark

clouds

that herald

a coming storm,

a storm in

the heart

the mind

the soul.

When you feel

alone

Do I dare disturb the universe?

Indulge in the quizzical whims of questioning?

Sit on the throne of knowledge,

partake in the feast of Newton’s apple?

To eat the forbidden fruit,

and cast myself out of the paradise of ignorance,

Uncle Felix grew up in a small town called Shinzhu, located on the north side of Taiwan. His family was not able to afford extra clothing or toys or even to pay for his education. Uncle Felix learned to take what life gave him, and to always look on the bright side of things.