Somehow, I pull the words out of my mouth like the colorful scarves inside the sleeve of an amateur magician

And we are both trying so hard

To save our best magic trick to use on ourselves

So that everyone can stop asking so much of us

Once, before the people moved in,

before they took my brothers

and sisters

and cousins

and friends,

I saw the sun.

I grew up

and I grew strong,

trying to reach the sky.

I meant to make

As the wind blows a harsh breeze,

And the trees start to sway on their knees,

Within the surface of the fleeting river,

I see myself sitting in the harsh weather,

As a boy, slouched down in the freeze.

Different: not the same as another.

My “friends” and I, we’re different from each other.

They are cool; I am not.

I am lame; they are hot.

Even when they’re wrong, people think they’re right.

They like the day; I like the night.

On a journey,

Without reasons,

Conforming to the changing seasons,

Flowing like a great song,

Thoughts of things grow ever long,

Mountains passing,

Some dreams crashing,

While others come to birth.

I look at them around me

Those who with my choices disagree

My eyes drop

They’re staring

Quickly judging what they see.

I’m here,

But

No one sees me.

I walk through,

Invisible

Like the truth

Behind the mirror.

For me,

They have blind eyes

Of icy blue.

To get in

I jump the fence.

On the outside I am a Superhero,

A lively, ambitious girl anyone can count on.

No matter the risk, anguish, or pain it causes me,

I will do anything I can to help others with a smile on my face.

Being young is hard;

 often feeling all alone.

 Your hair is a mess

 and your face is

breaking out.

 Being young is hard.

You aren’t quite sure of your friends,

 you’re stressed out;

Hallo there boy

You're just a child

Play on the fluffy cloud

In the air.

Think of nothing.

Until you fall

Fall a man

Live a man

Die a man

The Ponderosa Pines hunched ponderously,

Their convoluted gestures frozen

With dry, rasping limbs in stages of vexation

And narrow forearms lifted high

In savored moments of exalted epiphany.

My brother and I climbed the questions

I found myself

staring out of my bedroom

window,

my eyes followed the footsteps

of the strangers walking below me.