If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin is a moving story about self-discovery that follows childhood best friends who grow apart but continue to have a shared connection. Autumn and Finn have been raised as family since childhood with their mothers being best friends and living next door to each other. After they began middle school, popular Finny and alternative Autumn found different friends, styles, and relationships as they stopped interacting with one another. Despite her great group of friends, boyfriend Jamie, and satisfaction in choosing this life for herself Autumn regrets the loss of her relationship with Finny and navigates through her world of What-Ifs.
I loved reading this novel as it was a truly meaningful story that left me numb for days. It illustrates both tough and uplifting ideas of love, loss, friendship, and depression that makes it feel realistic and relates to the reader’s emotions. Despite the strong heartbreak and sadness, I can only recommend this book. However, many of the tropes and elements used in the book to describe the characters come off as cringey and are almost difficult to read. Moreover, the story uses a series of flashbacks throughout that causes the later part of it to be abrupt. The book rapidly picks up at the end, which adds to the effect of its ending, but also weakens it as a whole. Much of the redeeming quality of how the novel leaves us off is also what might hurt it because it almost feels incomplete but adds to the pain. Overall, I give this book four stars out of five because of the gorgeous prose and development of the story. It is so easy to devour in one sitting and explains coming of age with so much poignance. It is a YA story that should not be missed.